Ki Tisa - when you lift up the head of the people of Israel. Lifting up the head or face has many associations and meanings, some positive, some not so positive (to wit: the opposing and ironic usages of the term by Yosef to the Egyptian butler and baker), but the positive predominates. Lifting up the head is a way of encouraging by relating. Those were some of the thoughts going through my mind as I was learning with my son, Yinon, last night at his yeshiva tichonit (high school yeshiva) in Otniel - the parents are invited to learn with their sons before every in-Shabbat, about every two or three weeks, and I try to make as many of those sessions as I can because Yinon, the middle child (or "sandvitch", as they say in pure Biblical Hebrew) of our five (bli ayin hara) children, effectively lives at yeshiva, so it's special opportunity to encourage him, deepen the connection, heck, to lift up his head!! They gave us a sheet of prepared sources dealing with road safety, and, as it interested Yinon about as much as it probably interests you, we learned a few gems on the Parashah that I had seen the preceding days.
The first was Ramban on my name. That is, my eponymous anscestor's patronymic. When Moshe moves the tent of meeting (homework assignment: which tent is that? The Mishkan has not been built yet!) out of the camp as a sign of divine disfavor, his daily exit of the camp to speak with Hashem is described in detail. Upon conclusion of the audience with Hashem, Moshe returns to the camp, but, "his servant, Yehoshua Bin-nun, subordinate, did not move from the midst of the tent".
Why is Yehoshua referred to as Bin-Nun? You would think "bin" is simply a variant of Ben, "son of", and in fact, that's the first option explored by the Ramban. But, he notes that it's ALWAYS "bin", and never, "ben". If they were variants, you'd think at least once he would be called "ben-nun". Therefore, Ramban posits that it should be read as though it said, "Binun", from "binah", the understanding one. OR, he says:
But wait: I must preface the Ramban's remarks with the following contextual remarks: The dominant consonant in my name is "shin". The dominant consonant in my wife's name is "lamed" (Before she went by Shoshana, she used her given name name, Lili). Our oldest son is named Elisha. Our oldest daughtere: Shalhevet. Do you see? We perpetuated our bond, unconsciously, in the names of our two oldest children! Further, Elisha means the same thing as Yeshoshua: G-d will save!
O.K., back to Ramban. His second explanation for the form, "bin-nun" is as follows: "Or perhaps it should be understood as 'Yehoshua, born of Bina (Understanding)' rendering 'nun' based on the verse from Tehillim, 'may his name yinon before the sun'. The meaning of Yinon in that verse is unclear - it's the only occurrence of the word in the Tanach. The translations include: endure, shine, prevail". But I didn't care - look at that - Yinon is as integral a part of my name as the first two! In fact, "the child is father to the man!", I quoted to him.
That's what I said, and he grinned and we spoke a bit about what that might mean. Then he said, "so what kind of relationship is father and son, "panim el panim"? I was a bit stunned, given the Kabbalistic associations of that term, but then I remembered that Yinon has been learning a bit of Sha'arei Orah with Elisha, the ever-eager older brother. We noted that only a few verses before, It states that Hashem spoke to Moshe "panim el panim", face to face, as a man speaks to his close friend". On this phrase, the Ohr Hachaim explains that: "In accordance with the preparation Moshe made to receive the Shechina's presence, to that extent did he receive from the Supernal Face - for a person receives holiness in the measure of his preparations. Further, "like a man speaks to a friend" - can be understood with the verse: "Like water - face to face - is the heart of a man to his fellow". for to the extent that a man prepares his heart to love his fellow, to that extent will his friend's heart be prepared to love him".
Silently, the inner preparations for connection are made, hearts communicate at a distance, without knowledge, and the same is true for the divine relationship: The degree of love Hashem shows Moshe is precisely proportional to the love Moshe has aroused in his own heart for Hashem, so as to be real with Moshe, so as not to overwhelm, so as to grow the relationship every stronger, ever deeper.
And then we looked at another passage: When Hashem informs Moshe that the people have built a golden calf and worshiped it, Moshe does not immediately confess on behalf of the people and ask for forgiveness. This he does only after he goes down, breaks the tablets, gathers a posse of "vigilevis" and destroys the hardcore of the transgressors. His first prayer, however, before he descends, is of a very different nature. He asks Hashem, rhetorically, what will become of His reputation, now that He has taken the people out of Egypt by manifesting His Great Name (the Tetragrammaton), the Name Par'oh claimed not to know, the Name with which wonders are done, the Name through which the connection with Am Yisrael is made. If the people are wiped out by Hashem, the entire program upon which Hashem has embarked will be ruined!!
Why split the prayers? While I was struggling with understanding a Kabbalistic cadenza of the Ramban, Yinon said, "maybe it's only when he goes down to the people and deals with them can he come back and pray for them".
A light went on. At that moment, what I wrote above about the first prayer being on behalf of Hashem's name came to me. I suddenly saw that Moshe has been up there for forty days and forty night struggling to understand this whole notion of the Mishkan, and how the Divine Presence - referred to as the Name throughout Devarim ("A place to cause My Name ot dwell") - can possibly reside amidst flesh and blood, and finally, upon "getting it", upon receiving the Tablets which are the work of G-d (ma'aseh Elokim), held in human hands, as he is about to bring the Name down to become the ultimate lithium battery of the spiritual engine which is Israel, Hashem's middah of din would do what is oh-so-right and destroy the indwelling of rachamim! Moshe "knows" Hashem's interest, Hashem's "heart" as no one else does - Hashem has seen to that!! So He pleads for his "Friend's" Own interest - the eternal bond with the Name-bearing, Name-being people Israel And that expression of love, that preparedness of Moshe to the point of complete selflessness, is precisely what enables the fullness of revelation later in the parashah. Hashem's Face was downcast, were it possible to speak thus, and Moshe lifted it up.
At the end of the parashah, Moshe descends the mountain after that indescribable encounter in the niche of the rock, that "you can't see My Face", tefillin-knot glimpse, and Moshe's face is glowing, no, it's throwing off light beams of laser-like intensity, and no one can bear to look, so he covers who he has become with a mask - perhaps a fleshy one? But in the last verse of the parashah, Hashem returns the favor, the heart of a man to his fellow, and lifts up the face of Moshe. For the face of Moshe is only covered, turned down, until he comes to speak with Hashem. Then, he removes the mask, and He...
I hardly noticed that the rav was standing on the bima waiting for the attention of sons and fathers to summarize the sources on the spiritual dimensions of safe driving. But I hadn't heard a word. I drove recklessly toward the heart of my friend, no my son, I took off my mask for a few moments and I think his deflector shields were also down for a while. At least that's what the several smiling hugs told me. Face to face.
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