Ayelet again. I try to read a piece of the parasha each night to my two kids who are still young enough to be put to bed by parents. The other night, we were reading about the deaths of Nadav and Avihu as they offered "strange fire before the Eternal which He did not command". When we got to the part where (according to some interpretations) tries to console Aharon by indicating that the Mishkan had to be sanctified by the death of holy tzaddikim (thus, "your sons deaths indicates their tremendously high spiritual level"), and, the Torah continues, "Aharon was silent", Ayelet was not!
"I can't understand that, Abba, how could he not cry upon the death of his two precious children?", she demanded?
I tried to explain, but she wasn't buying, and it was late, so we said we'd return to the subject later...
And as I rolled it around in my head, I realized that I wasn't buying either, because the storyline doesn't make sense: Aharon had not been speaking before, so how can he be silent?
Indeed, the Ramban claims that Aharon WAS crying (and then stopped), but one need not interpret "Vayidom Aharon" in that literal a fashion. I'm more attracted to the notion that Aharon was a roiling mass of emotions at that moment, mamash the agony and the ecstasy, mi'igra rama l'bira amikta - from the highest heights of spiritual elevation as the fire from heaven came down and consumed his offering on behalf of the people, the Divine glory appeared, blessing flowed through his agency to the people, who sang their hearts out in joy... down to the pit of despair to see his two eldest sons, accomplished leaders and spiritual masters (as the midrash teaches us), snatched from him in their own moment of transcendant yet, we are told, transgressive proximity to the divine. And then to have big brother read him the riot act (according to some) or attempt to console him - but doesn't it say in Avot NOT to attempt to console a person when his loved one lays before him? Aharon's neshamah is being pounded and pulled in every direction - no words suffice, but neither does mere silence, SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE...
"Vayidom Aharon" - Aharon ceased. The one who Hashem described as the Levi ("the companion"), the one who Hashem described as "I know that Talk? he can Talk!" stopped at that moment being "Aharon", he somehow left his persona behind and took refuge deeper, so much deeper, to a place where agony and ecstasy don't exists as separate ego-emotion states.
The Maharam MiRotenberg notes that there are two places in all of Tanach where the word "Vayidom" occurs - here, and in the story of Yehoshua's battle with the Canaanite kings after the defeat of Ai. He had trounced them, and set them to flight, and was in hot pursuit, but the sun was setting, and so he commanded it to stop. "And the sun ceased". The passage of time came to a halt, the relentless sequence of mere events was frozen see Tehillim 19).
This is a tragedy on several levels, and one of those levels is the disruptive emotional storm that threatens to drive an indispensable leader of Am Yisrael out of his mind just as he has stepped into a role he cannot relinquish.
Deep soul silence is the only antidote. That's where Eliyahu heard the still, small voice, and that's the silence regarding which David said, "To you silence is praise".
The scream that emerges from the silence of Aharon's neshamah finds its response. Hashem speaks directly and only to him, and says, "don't drink wine when you come close to Me", no mind-altering of any sorts, chemical or conceptual. When you are so, so close that agony and ecstasy fade away into the deeper silence, you'll find Me.
So that's what I'll say to Ayelet tonight. Only, she's only 11, and all I have is words. How shall I convey this to her?
Ah.... I think I have an idea...
The tefillin worn on the head (henceforth, “ shel rosh ”) differ in a number of respects from the tefillin worn on the arm (henceforth, “ shel yad ”). One of the differences is this: Though both must contain the four passages in the Torah which make mention of the mitzvah of tefillin, the shel yad has all four passages written on a single parchment, in the order they appear in the Torah, rolled up and placed in the single compartment of the shel yad . The shel rosh , however, is constructed such that it has four small compartments side by side. Though these compartments appear to be tightly bound to one another, in fact, they are almost actually completely separate from one another. They only join at a common base, like the fingers of one’s hand. Into each compartment is placed one of the four passages, written on four separate parchments. Here is a list of the passages, in the order they appear in the Torah: 1. Kadesh Li – Shemot 13:1-10 ...
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