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Ki Tisa 5767

This week marked the 7th anniversary of my father's (alav hashalom) passing. His name was Osher (the spelling reflecting his Litvish Yiddish upbringing), and, as I have been on the road, I wasn't sure exactly how I would make minyan, light a yahrzeit light, and do something in his memory. In the end, it turned out well - I have spent the last two days in Riverdale, so I attended minyan at HIR. I asked if I could davven from the amud for Ma'ariv, and, when I introduced myself, the assistant rabbi asked me if I wanted to say something in memory of my father and about Erez Levanon, hy"d. The following is a rendering of what came to me at that moment.

Shemot is the Book of Names, for the theme of names and what they imply serve as a unifying strand and as the deed understratum of the entire book. The most famous instance of the revelation of a name is in Parashat Shemot at the Burning Bush. Moshe says, 'when I tell the people why I have come, they'll ask me, "what's His (Hashem's) Name" - what shall I say to them". Hashem then proceeds to give Moshe three different names, the first and most impacting is the famous, "Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh". Then He tells Moshe, "Tell them Ehyeh sent you", Then he tells Moshe, "Tell them Y-H-W-H" send you".

So which one is it? In order to understand this, we must first understand what Moshe was really asking for. The most profound treatment of this theme, to my mind, is found in the Ramban's commentary to this passage. The Ramban basically says that Moshe was NOT asked for a "password" by which to gain the people's loyalty. Rather, he was asking, "who are You", both for his own sake, and so that when he represents Hashem to the people, he can be a true representative.

Switch to Rashi (whose idea, taken from the Midrash, Ramban endorses): G-d says, I will be with them in this insufferable situation, as I will be with them in subsequent insufferable situations. Moshe: One insufferable situation at a time! G-d: You're right - just tell them "I will be with them".

SO: the Name, Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh, is the truth of Hashem, presented to Moshe FOR HIS SAKE, but which the people cannot tolerate. They need to compartmentalize reality, and the notion that there might be other episodes on a par with (or, shudder, outstripping) Mitzrayim, is beyond their abilities to process.

Ramban notes that in Parashat Ki Tisa, our parashah this week, there is validation for the notion that the name E-A-E (shorthand) is basically one of compassion (Rachamim): When Moshe asks to been shown G-d's ways, G-d says, "I will cause My Goodness to pass before you, and I shall invoke the name Y-H-W-H before you, and I will be merciful to whom I will be merciful (V'Chanoti et ASHER Achon) and I shall be gracious to whom I shall be gracious (v'Richamti et ASHER Arachem).

My contention is that the word Asher, the relative pronoun, is not merely an auxiliary word, but one of substance. Asher means connection, and thus it means happiness. When Rachel used Bilhah to gain a son from Ya'acov, Lean countered with Zilpah, and she bore him/her two sons, the second and last of the "birthing war" sons before Leah resumes bearing. His name was Asher. She called him that because, she said, "Women will rejoice with me". Immediately after, when Reuven brings Leah mandrakes, Rachel covets them and she is willing to trade her conjugal rights to Leah, WHO CRAVES CLOSENESS to Ya'acov. She is happy when she is with him, and thus she is with him for eternity in the Cave of the Patriarchs, but Rachel trades away closeness and is buried elsewhere.

True joy is in relatedness, a relatedness that understands that the overarching unity shines forth precisely THROUGH the troubles and the struggles associated with them. Hashem revealed this rich view of Godliness to Moshe. Thus, the Asher component is central to E-A-E as Name of G-d, the name associated with the highest sefirot, according to the Ramban, because it insists that the full picture must include not merely episodic "beings with", but the struggle to connect them which itself is the most profound being with a human being is blessed with.

Moshe understood/internalized this, and his face shone; the Erev Rav absolutely could not ,and they build a Golden Calf where the Asher should have been. May we been blessed with the truest joy that comes from this realization, and then we can indeed say with fullest voice, "Ashrei Yoshvei Beitecha".

After the d'var torah, I asked a friend of somewhat recent vintage who happened to be there if, since I was travelling, he wouldn't mind being my "shaliach" and lighting the yahrzeit candle in his home. He was happy to do so, as he said, "by the way - my Jewish name is Asher".

I got an e-mail from him the next evening - 28 hours later, the flame was burning. May all our flames burn so strong.

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